What Six Concerts In A Month Taught Me About Starting Over

For a long time, my memories of enjoying live music came with pangs of regret. Living in Reno, in order to really feel all the joys of a concert, meant needing a group. To have the best time over there, you need to know somebody or go with a posse of friends. Trying to remember good concerts I’ve seen on the West Coast unfortunately is a bit tainted for me. Whether it’s friends who turned out to be fake, or the blot of an abusive relationship, the thing I love most felt more like an embarrassing recollection that brought pain instead of something to cherish with fondness.

Fast forward to now, I’ve been living in a new city for over a year now. My life has changed in drastic ways: from being encircled with the love of a large family, being treated with respect by an incredible partner and immersing myself in a community I am just scratching the surface of discovering, it’s crazy for me to digest just how lucky I am to be here. The things I faced in my hometown will probably never leave me, but the gratitude I feel for my new chance at living life the way it’s supposed to be, for the first time, as an adult, is not something I can easily express with words.

But damn it, I sure can try.

Things like joy, having fun and safety to be your authentic self are experiences I didn’t realize were foreign to me until I moved here. While my partner and I have had a super busy season, I’m amazed at each new encounter I am gifted, such as homesickness. As we zipped around the region on our travels, I found myself eager to return to Buffalo, something I’ve never felt before.

Sometimes it’s the little things we take for granted that are the most special parts of our stories.

Adventure means something different when it was something unattainable most of your life. For some, adventure is doing reckless things and pushing the envelope. For others it’s making good memories with beloved companions. For me, it’s just getting to witness and feel life – from a grounded place of self-assurance I’ve never had before. Whether it’s finding my favorite stretches of freeway (whoops, I mean thruway), trying new foods, or staring up at skyscrapers while walking through the streets of a city I’ve never been to, every little thing is an adventure for me.

And I’m allowing myself to accept and receive the happiness that brings – because I deserve it.

Here is what our latest wild string of concerts looked like:

1. Chevelle at RBC Amphitheatre in Toronto, Canada – September 9th, 2026

We kicked off this entire whirlwind run across the border with Chevelle. (If you want the full story on how that night went, check out my standalone post here).
Bonus memory: To round out my dream concert come true, we followed it up with a late-night stumble upon a jazz show at The Emmet Ray – proving why this passion for music ignited in the first place. One of my favorite things in the world is running into local music by chance, and every time it occurs, it seems like we just happen to see some of the most talented, undiscovered musicians ever. I checked the calendar for that day, and their socials said it was “Sax, Babes & Vice Jazz/bebop, Funk Fusion with James Thomson.”

2. Face To Face at Danforth Music Hall in Toronto, Canada – September 10th, 2026

This concert was more for my partner than me, but was still a very unique and special thing for me to observe. After a day exploring the Art Gallery of Ontario and much needed fuel at the Village Idiot Pub, it was cool for me to see so many people gathered with old friends and reminiscing about their youth going to punk shows and doing stupid shit. Some people screamed like it was a reunion and embraced, and one woman was talking in the bathroom about how she’s so proud she still gets to see her music, the music she listened to since she was a teenager. While I didn’t know a single word, the sense of community, young or old and of all backgrounds, was touching and endearing.
Bonus memory: We had pre-concert drinks at a nearby pub called Noonan’s, and again, stumbled upon some great music. Gianni Ferraro gave us a little more pep in our steps as we headed off into the night, and I got a kick out of the opportunity to follow yet another talented artist.

3. Bouncing Souls at Town Ballroom in Buffalo, New York – September 17th, 2026

Coming back home for a local show, even though there were two more bands I had never heard of, it’s always a heartwarming thing watching a partner get excited about their interests. Another band with a long history in the punk community, we got an incredible spot on a railing off to the side of the stage, with an unobstructed view. Being a short woman, I usually miss 75% of the experience due to my height. Echoing sentiments from the previous concert, it was clear to see an amazing sense of comradery amongst the crowd, even across age groups.
Bonus memory: One of the opening bands, Suicide Machines, ended up wowing us in a lasting way. Lead vocalist Jason Navarro’s crowd work was more than engaging, it was magnetic. Repeatedly passing the mic to attendees in the front row and skanking across the stage, out of all the punk-ish bands we’ve seen, these guys are my favorite. I found the more ska leaning melodies more upbeat and we returned home that night pleasantly surprised – color us impressed.

4. Sparta at The Bug Jar in Rochester, New York – September 22nd, 2026

At first I was nervous about how small this venue was, but very quickly realized we were in for a treat. I have issues in small concert halls sometimes with noise – I get overwhelmed easily, and overheat in tight crowds. Luckily the staff turned on their giant fans from the back of the dancefloor for air flow, and we settled in for an intimate show of a lifetime. Jim Ward’s voice was just as good as on the records, and honestly these guys are talented enough to sell out stadiums, but they go out of their way to support independent businesses where they can foster connection with the community. They even shared more personal insights about the band, including how one of their new members helped them progress toward the future vision for the group. Even being a fresher fan of their music, it truly was one of those shows you never forget, and you will carry with you forever.
Bonus memory: Not only did my partner get to touch one of his idols on their way out with a pat on the back, but we also really dug the opening band, Public Opinion. I liked them so much, I revived my tradition of buying a vinyl record and had them sign it. Seeing the smiles on musicians’ faces and getting to support what I love, is why I do what I do. Topped off with the crazy artsy atmosphere of The Bug Jar, complete with literal bugs swinging from the ceiling, this was probably our favorite night over that period.

5. Bad Nerves at Buffalo Iron Works in Buffalo, New York – September 24th, 2026

A breath of fresh air with one of the newer bands amid our tour of classic punk groups, these guys were an energetic tornado of “powerpop” from the United Kingdom. The show felt like we were getting the honor and privilege of watching rock and roll musicians right before their careers boom, kind of what seeing The Rolling Stones must have felt like before their rise to fame. Truly, if every song is a banger and you can’t stop yourself from dancing, we are looking forward to seeing where this band goes in the future. They will undoubtedly be all the rage in every venue they grace. If you see their name coming to your town – it’s more than worth the ticket, and you should seize the opportunity before they explode.

6. Sugar at The Agora Theatre & Ballroom in Cleveland, Ohio — October 10th, 2026

Cleveland is one of the first bigger cities we’ve been to since moving here to Buffalo, only a three hour drive away. My partner has been following Bob Mould, beginning with his other band Husker Du in the 80s, and has wanted to see him perform in Sugar for quite some time. A trailblazer in the punk community for coming out as gay in 1994, Mould’s vocals sounded just as strong as what we listened to in the car on the roadtrip over. We listened to the entire Copper Blue album, and I’ve never gotten attached to music so quickly before. Surrounded by a crowd similar to what we saw with Bouncing Souls and Face To Face, it was clear that there’s a loyal fan base that feels the same. Even for someone new to the scene like me, I cried when they played ‘Hoover Dam,’ and of course, eagerly grabbed another vinyl for the return journey home, carrying with me another magical memory before the holiday season.
Bonus memory: We ate at The House of Creole, a quaint little restaurant right around the corner from our hotel, and I finally got to try jerk chicken wings. Everyone doubted my ability to handle the heat, but they were the most delicious thing I’ve tasted in our travels so far. Our hilarious bartender told me I looked like a firebreathing dragon, and gave me a pumpkin margarita to try (it was better than I expected).

Looking back on the past month or so and also reaching our one year anniversary of moving to Buffalo, I realize I was doing a lot more than collecting vinyls and concert tickets – I was slowly rewriting my relationship with something that used to come with painful flashbacks. The shadow of my former life in Reno is finally loosening its grip on my heart and I’m healing piece by small piece. Who knew that good food, late-night jazz, immersing yourself in a community and bringing little souvenirs back is a great way to rebuild after hardships that overextended their stay. For the first time, I get to have what everyone else seemed to have: the ability to be fully present, enjoy the moment and bring home something that doesn’t hurt later.

Starting your life over doesn’t necessarily mean erasing where you’ve been, and for me, that would be impossible anyway. But the hold my past traumas have had on me are finally fading, like scar tissue. The mark of everything I’ve been through has contributed to who I am today, and instead of weighing my spirit down, it’s the compass pointing the way to my light at the end of the tunnel. I get to relive my favorite things on my own terms.

At last, I have good memories to cherish, hold and share – and that is priceless.